When you see an attractive person, uniformly expanded pupils by 20%.
Infatuation engulfing your brain with dopamine.
Do you know what causes same chemical reaction? The narcotics.
Crazy, right? But it is the kind funny things, i am learning.
I need to write a script for a romantic comedy -
- and the problem is that I never been in love, so ...
... it's slow. That's what I said.
I use a writer ruse. When I hear love stories -
- I imagine that I'm a of the people who are in love.
It is a desperate attempt to feel something. Whatever.
It's a bit self-absorbed, but it works.
The closest I've been on, was the summer of the 89th
It was my babysitter. We were deeply in love one wonderful evening -
- until Grandpa came home early from poker. She could all dance.
Since then, all my experiences with love started like this.
- I always thought, you are delicious. - Do you still have a girlfriend?
- Yes. - Are you in love?
So it leads to something in this style ...
... and usually end with anything in this style.
What about a backstory?
- It is a romantic comedy. - Forget it.
You will make the producer a favor.
It will be huge. They have Ashley Tisdale from "High School Musical" -
- And Matthew Morrison of "Glee". It will be huge.
I can see the poster for me now. "More Ash".
- It can not be said. - I did right. Play now with.
Do your best, the producer has an action movie in the pipeline in Malaysia.
- I would like to write an action movie. - Then write the romantic comedy.
It's six weeks in Malaysia. Malaysian women.
- Do you have busted a Malaysian slut? - No.
This corresponds to a cigarette elefantpik for them.
They are cute, warm and sincere. Loving, beautiful women ...
... That you can fuck to pieces! Yes!
So says Swayze to her for the first time:
"I love you, Molly. I ..."
"I've always loved you." And then corresponds Demi Moore: "Ditto."
He told her at the beginning of the film.
- It is not "Terminator", but ... - What?
Do you think the "Terminator" is more romantic than "Ghost"?
You're kidding me. You're not kidding. "Terminator"?
- The same guy made "Titanic". - My head explodes.
I'll be back. It is not a reference to ...
It has all the said over time.
It is my buddy Scott. We have been friends since we met.
Sorry! You forgot your ...
You forgot your package!
- Wait! - Shit!
- Shit! Do not hurt me. - Why did you run?
- You chased me! - You forgot your package!
- On purpose. Oh god. - Who leaves packages on purpose?
It is my favorite novel, "Love in the Time of Cholera".
I leave it in random places, so people can find it. It is ...
It's my gift.
- You're crazy. What is your name? - Scott.
Let's grab your bag.
What then, master?
A man and a woman with a split personality meet, -
- And one of his personalities falls in love with one of her.
- It sounds really good. - It is miserable and clichéd.
There is a gay personality and one part-girlfriend personality.
There is a Latino personality and a black detective personality.
- There is an airport scene in act three. - I love the airport scenes.
We must surpass. Place them in a bridge. It is wildly romantic.
Two people on a bridge. Maybe people follow after them and applaud ...
That I do not write.
- That I do not write, Scott. - It's not a romantic comedy.
I want to write something that shows how love really is.
- Not funny or romantic. - Okay, but it sounds bummer.
Let me explain. Love starts like this.
- Sorry, I have sweaty hands. - I do not care. I love you.
Then he threw up. I have not been able to make love with the lights on the side.
You are so beautiful. I am lucky to have you.
- But it quickly becomes like this. - We are colleagues. Should I quit?
No, you stare at her all evening. Get the sticky, clammy fingers away!
Man reveals his most private secrets, and then crush one.
Drop melodrama, and try to work out a little. No wonder he threw up.
How do I know that? Take for example my story.
Nothing is stronger than a mother's love.
She fits on one. It is unconditional, right?
But then the rug pulled away less than one, and the world crumble.
- Mom, where's the gift? - Your mother is not here, my boy.
Love leaves a with grandpa -
- to travel to Chile and destroying a breakfast cereal.
That was the last time I saw her. So every time someone has said:
- I love you. - I love you.
- I love you. - Then I have the answer:
How come I never feel for you.
I am.
That's the way my heart. I threw it out long ago -
- and now he follows me, while chain smoking.
As I said, so my life has been like.
But then I met a girl.
We slips. People are intolerable here.
I am sorry, there is no hot girls, but we will.
If I have to hear one ugly girl to talk about his vegetarian pets -
- Begin my sperm eating each other.
- Pis. - Beautiful picture.
- It's a talent. - Please continue.
- I had said what I meant. - You are not full enough.
We are ugly now, but after a few drinks, we look very good.
You are right. The rest of the evening, I shop online and compulsive eating.
Shoppe? I would have guessed you would stare at porn.
- Porn makes women into objects. - Is it bad?
No, but I'm tired of men not be the objects.
I'm tired of women not judged on wages.
If I need an hour to get ready, I'd like glos on.
I have coveted for my body, but not my wallet.
We drink expensive wine here, and so is my money worth nothing?
- That girl is dangerous. - Should we make an experiment?
Good ass. Are you training?
Is it a Valentino? This suit is made of material boyfriend.
The suit would be even nicer on the floor of a hotel room.
I would like to travel more, but I have a huge student debt.
Oh god. Sorry.
Look at him there. What a rigid sticks.
- Make it with a blow job. - No, he's my boyfriend.
- Hey, baby. - Well, there you are, darling.
I have no idea what stivstikkeren said. I was temporarily deaf.
What then? I've been looking for you.
You look bad. Ate you crab?
I ate crab. Therefore, I was on the toilet so long.
It was a bummer. Shake it off you. It's time to write to the girls.
Hello, beautiful. What are you doing?
Hello! It's very long ago.
I've been busy with writing. Are you in town?
Yes, I'm out dancing with some friends. What about you?
Watching "Shakespeare in Love". The sexy scene with Gwyneth memories of you.
I love that movie! Do you think I recalls Gwyneth?
Do you find yourself, you are reminiscent of GP? It is pretentious.
Honestly!
My goal in life is to surpass the scene. Are you with it?
- Hello. I'm glad you called. - I did not.
Love is like a boat, that has sprung a leak.
Is it not put a plug in, drowning man.
You have to find an expert to fix it.
I would like to say that it is not a opturs moment.
But that's it.
I overlap the leak with sex -
- which will erase any trace of the girl from my brain.
Wait.
Stop, stop, stop. Sorry.
- What the hell is going on? - Good question.
I have a question. Here was a girl.
She had brown hair and a good girl height -
- A perfect smile, wearing a red dress and a happy look.
- Makes it a bell to ring? - No, unfortunately.
Pis.
- What the hell were you doing? - Can I drop you somewhere, Erin?
She then said that she was called Reagan. I think so anyway.
I'm not good at remembering names. She could well be called Teresa.
Jenn with two n's? Nope. Mary is too plain.
Shauntiqua. Highly unlikely. Chastity. I hope so fucking not.
LOS ANGELES SHOOTING CLUB
Authors are not very good at to suffer alone.
That's why we write and form small groups. This is my.
Lyle wrote the first 20 pages of 16 filmmanusser and 12 novels.
He needs a bath.
Samson is married and writes graphic novels, poems and short stories.
He is too old to hang out with us, but we give a damn.
Mallory writes and performs with very personal solo shows, -
- as she drags us to see. We lumps and to that research.
Scott have been showing.
- Why do you know her name? - I would like to say it out loud.
- Hold up, it's just an infatuation. - I wish a guy would say my name.
- As he pulled in dilleren? - Who says romance is dead?
Our idea of ​​love is unrealistic and outdated.
Write it in the romantic comedy.
- How do you kill a rapture? - With a gun?
I meet a nice girl, I am looking for a mistake that she is rude.
I focus on one error until I'm not attracted anymore.
- How am I not cheat on my wife. - Why are you so happily married.
Do not talk about happiness. Thank you. Happiness and marriage are incompatible.
Romeo committed suicide because it was the best resort.
No, Romeo set the standard for love.
Shakespeare did not know anything about love.
He fiddled with itself. Therefore his name was Shakespeare.
Hardy, Dickens, Longfellow all sexual pseudonyms.
- EE Cummings. - Margaret Ate-wood.
- Dean Cuntz. - Atwood and Koontz.
Teens who commits suicide is not love.
Love takes the ass on a long after it's over with sex.
Keep looking up. Love found. In a Korean soap opera last night ...
- Stop watching this shit. - No, I need to hear it.
It was a section of "When the pear tree blossoms, crying also."
Hana and Dae-Jung has been reunited after many years.
They are madly in love. They pour tea and sends each other glances, -
- but they are two seconds from to peel kimono are and go for it.
Do you remember how I live my other people's stories?
I thought they shot you.
And why is she here?
But now they are finally together again, and she must tell her secret.
She was born as man, so she had to undergo surgery -
- to be, she was at heart: a woman.
It blew me away. His confession measure up to her.
He was born a woman but had got it, he should have had.
- Male Cases. - A penis and two testicles.
And then they just touched each other's hands.
It is love. For hell.
Love Always Finds a Way. It's ... Sorry.
Scott could be right, but he also says that everyone has a udkåren.
Although it sounds right, is it the opposite order of nature, -
- that you think it can not fit, but then you are wrong again.
Wherever you look, get you noticed odd couple.
And then it dawns on one, to be mistaken for the third time.
You are the only one. You are the exception.
Everyone has a udkåren. All except you.
- There is something that bothers you. - It's nothing.
- When you say it, it's something. - Can we talk about something else?
I need a prostate examination tomorrow morning. Shall we talk about it?
No. It's a girl. It's nothing.
If you think of her, but can not talk about her, it's something.
We met at a party, and I have no idea how to find her.
- I did not know you gave up so easily. - I do not know anything about her.
What her name, where she lives or what she's doing, so it's nothing.
- What would Columbo do? - Proving that she is the killer?
Yes, but first he had to find her!
My grandfather was right. I investigated charity environment by google.
CHARITY EVENTS
Scott, you are fond of good deeds. Are you researching with me?
Concentrate on my tie, look good, and then find the girl.
Charity Events is to grin. The feder one up with food, -
- and then you have to sweat it out on their five km run.
Hi.
I've seen you many times. You go up in it. I wish there were more like you.
I do not donate as much as I should, so I invented something.
Charity is manly. We come as often as we can.
Especially when it comes to art.
I started to waffle loose, and I would not lie, -
- but I am a writer. Do not judge me.
I have no idea what I'm talking about.
- Nice to meet you. - Maybe I went too far.
But we enjoyed ourselves all together, so there's no harm done.
As was the matter, how much time I invested, -
- it did not help anything. My quest for her was hopeless.
- It was my best time so far. - It does not matter. She's not here.
Is that what this is about? You said we were doing research.
Maybe Scott right. I had to have my normal life back.
Hello. I would listen to manusset. Ashley Tisdale is on my back.
She has called me six times in this week to get a draft.
She is not into charity.
It's selfish to expose myself to this, so why do I?
- It costs $ 500 envelope. - Meat or vegetarian?
- We would like to ... share an envelope. - It costs 500 dollars.
- I take beef fillet. - Same here.
Enough about my work, and thanks for all the strong testimony.
I will continue a great man. I hope he does not get embarrassed.
- He cultivates coconuts in Cambodia. - Can you really say that?
He has helped lepers and singlehandedly rescued the endangered Abdulali seeds.
- Shit! - Give him a big hand.
- Smile and wine. - Come on, let's get him up here.
I kill him.
- Come up here! Come up here! - Talk, talk, talk!
- Thank you. It was not anything special. - Yes, that was it.
Believe me, I really have not done anything -
- That others would not have done so ...
- You're doing great, honey! - So give yourselves a hand.
- You saved the frogs. - It was not just me.
There were many who gave a helping hand.
- It was a clean hand-orgy. - You're not a failure!
It was inappropriate.
And then she was suddenly there.
Okay. Have a good afternoon.
It sat straight in the eye.
- Think you get in charity. - Now, I confess it all.
I love good food. It is much better here than the rhesus monkey dinner.
It's a slush fund.
They put pictures of cute monkeys everywhere and raping one's checkbook.
- You are very much into abevoldtægt. - As you go up in frøorgier.
- Are you here with that guy? - No, I'm here with my work.
My company bought a table. We work with urban planning.
It sounds boring, but it's exciting.
- I'm sorry, what did you say? - Very funny.
- Do you want to go for a walk? - Yes, we can.
After you.
- I can not find focus. - You should try yoga.
- My body is not made smooth. - It would be good for you.
I avoid it, which is good.
A typical Good Samaritan full of self-hatred.
- You do when something good for others. - Tell her now just the truth.
Can you see where the two waves collide and become one?
It's funny. Think how far they travel.
For thousands of years, several generations ...
... To find each other in this moment -
- And then come together and go out and looking for each other again.
- I'm kidding you. - Honestly.
- I got you. To collide. - Wow.
- I jumped on it. - You are a romantic.
- Sorry. Stiff Downstairs you? - I could have kissed her.
But I would not destroy it.
It does not sound good. Shall I see you again?
No, she has a boyfriend. I will not make a fool of myself.
This is the first time in several weeks, you say something sensible.
- Hey, you! - Hello.
- What are you doing? - I just go.
- My friend Scott and I go. - Hi, Scott.
Well, good luck with not making a fool of yourself.
- Going down and check out the waves? - It is a fake, but you jumped on it.
- It's a little strange, right? - Yes, you stalker me, right?
- I thought you stalkede me. - No, you would never find me.
- I'm really good at it. - I'm with the neighboring stewards.
- So you've been watching me. - You think enough, you're funny.
It looks promising.
Even if you think your brain controls mouth can always go wrong.
It may sound crazy, but we should try to meet with the will?
- You asking me out on a date? - No, but we meet all the time.
It seems as if fate wants us to be seen.
Well, my girlfriend hates when I go on a date.
He sounds dominant. You seem to have gotten the wrong impression of me.
I just think we should be friends. Not something conditions.
- I suck at relationships. - I have very low expectations.
So we should definitely be seen. I'm really good at low expectations.
I promise that if we meet, then you will not be impressed.
How can I say no to that?
- Should we saw on a date? - Yes, but it's a buddy-date.
A Buddy-date.
What the hell are the buddy-date?
MALLORY THOMAS LOVE IGNORE ME
No!
He must crawl into my vagina.
I have left my ovaries in the basement as potatoes.
- And they're starting to get arms and legs. - How rude. Sit down.
- Not here, over there. - What is it?
It is a leg.
No! Oh god!
Unexpected end.
- You are playing with fire. - No. Adults may well be friends.
Men and women can not be friends. We are squid and squirrels.
- Are we not two as friends? - We have been in bed with each other.
So what? Friends may well bun.
- Have you fucked when Scott? - Not physically.
- Why do you speak with a German accent? - Do not change the subject.
You love the girl so you limit that you can not cross.
No, I will prove that she is nothing special.
- She's like all the other girls. - You said it just is not.
- Other than the here present. - I've been on a Friends-date.
Now it gets weird.
My friend will come over, so we can watch a movie and hang out.
It sounds normal, right? Imagine that you are me.
Oh god.
The next moment he stabbed his tongue down my throat.
- My dick hurts. - What?
- My dick hurts. - I beg your pardon?
- My dick hurts. - Then go home and do something about it.
- I want you to do it. - It's not going to happen.
I do not even take the pants off.
If you really like her, -
- then meet her in a public place and do not make a fool of yourself.
STETHOSCOPE FOR ALL LIVING
- Wow. It looks noisy out. - Yes, it looks like a sound-group fuck.
The name of my band. How strange.
- What is the number eight? - A hummingbird.
They have the world's fastest heartbeat.
Your heart beats so fast that they are always on the verge of death.
- Bummer. - Game bummer.
- Shall we play doctor? - Yes.
"The ancient Chinese believed that there was only a limited number of heart beats."
"They were used up faster when you were angry or excited."
- Applies the same for boners? - I can not find it.
Where is her fault?
I can not hear anything. You have no heart.
A scientific miracle.
Our Buddy-date felt not as a friend-date.
We come wavelength, and then she goes home to him.
I'm practically stiff poke's mate.
I have to get up early tomorrow, for there is market day -
- So her boyfriend would get there early and buy ripe tomatoes.
I must also pass. I have to play poker.
Fat. It was fun. See you soon.
- Good luck tonight. - You too, or ...
Satan and hell, you big idiot!
Your giant idiot!
- Are you okay? - Yes. What is it?
My car will not start.
- I'm sorry, you did not come to poker. - What friends are for?
What are you on Thursday?
Say you're busy and is totally busy.
I need a companion for a charity event.
Say you have to make a tax return or washing hair.
- Sounds good. - Grease. The other friend-date.
- Yes! - Well ... we'll see you on Thursday.
It's a farewell hint that I confuse with a high five.
And now I hear it echo forever.
Did you give her a high five? Beautiful.
- Track 14 not throw the ball. - Maybe she did not notice it.
When I play with the children and raise your hand so they just stare at me.
In what world you're not a pedophile?
- She put definitely notice it. - You'll never see her again.
- Honestly. - It is a charity event.
- You look like hell. - You look like shit.
Now you stalker girl and harp on her.
You are obviously sexually frustrated.
- Do you masturbate properly? - I do not masturbate.
It is an intellectual connection -
- For people who have the same common interests.
- You are about to fall for her. - No, I am not.
Your idea of ​​love is what lonely people believe.
- Lonely people? - Nonsense. Love connects people.
- It makes the whole better than the parts. - Track 14 not throw the ball!
Look at the number of divorces. People are emotional whores.
The pairs to spread their misery.
In defending an ideal that does not exist in a imperfect world.
You lie to prove she is nothing special.
You are deceiving yourself and her. Finding no truth.
You will destroy it because you are a callous love hate.
Do not romanticize it because of "Love in the yellow fever time".
- "In the Time of Cholera". - It is pronounced "cholera".
What is your plan? To destroy her relationship until you get bored?
I will not talk about it. You run your problems with men on me.
Did you say "problems of men"? Honestly!
It is you who continue to meet her!
- Slip! Fuck you! So slip though! - Do not I just go bowling?
I had to put an end to it, but I would do it personally.
Bring it with charity.
Beautiful suits.
- What is this charity? - Did I tell you not?
Luckily, I have underwear on.
- I would have guessed panties. - I am deeply impressed.
- Threatening my manhood? - Maybe.
Holy shit.
- Yes, you did. - No, I did not.
You made a sound in Warrior III position.
- What kind of a job? - I refreshes your memory.
Well, that sound? It makes me all the time.
- What is it? - What about you and stivstikkeren?
- It says he is not. - Are you sure?
- We will probably married. - You do not sound too sure.
We talk about it. We discuss it with a few months apart.
It sounds romantic.
- I'm not ready. - Why not?
I thought it would feel a little different.
Maybe it's not supposed to. I have it fine enough.
It was not my place, but it sounds convenient.
- What's wrong with that? - Nothing. Are you happy?
I am happy ... and he is stable.
He is very into his work, and he is everything I need.
What about what you want? You can not plan happiness.
- So describe your perfect wedding. - I never thought about.
In San Francisco and is one of heart sculptures by 50 guests.
We travel by tram to the reception at the Terra with a lot of whiskey.
Why Do not you him to yoga and art exhibitions?
Maybe I asked him first.
I like you.
- Is it bad? - Yes, it's very bad.
I have someone I trust. One, I have created a life with.
Whatever this is ...
... Then it will not change that.
Whew! Okay.
- It was a bummer. - Okay.
Okay. We'll see.
- You better stretch out. - Yes.
I love you very much, but the mother must travel to Chile.
- Enough. - Do not be a weak piss.
- Yes, do not be a weak piss. - Honestly.
Scotty's right. Do you know how long I've been waiting for, you fell in love?
- And now you just chug around. - I'm not in a bad relationship.
Your grandmother was engaged to an Italian. I had to steal her.
I rescued her, and when I die, I will be buried on top of her.
It's pretty romantic.
You will not fight for the one you love.
Your mother's death must not torment you for life.
- It has nothing to do with this. - Love is like retirement savings.
You get his investment back. If you love a little, you are loved little.
- We have to tell him the story. - Ses In two without me?
I have never had a grandfather. Tell him it.
It was in 1943. I was in San Diego. I was in the Navy.
Then I spotted her. All men at the bar would talk to her -
- but it deter me.
Her eyes sparkled. Her lips were like two perfect red roses.
It was fate, and I could not refuse fate.
Time stood still as we danced. The music, light.
She felt like sunshine in my arms. She looked like a princess, -
- and I was her prince. It was pure magic.
- It sounds like a Disney movie. - Do you think that your weak piss?
It was for real men. I thought never, I would see her again.
My beloved. As you know, I am engaged. I'm sorry.
I wish we could be together, but I'm getting married on 3 January.
The moment pounding a fleet of submarines our ship, -
- but the Nazis can not stand in the way of love.
I swam in new headwinds, -
- climbed up the rocks by Canada's coast -
- and hurried across the plains, deserts and cemeteries.
It was the longest three days of my life.
What the hell are you doing?
The kiss changed everything.
Then, turning the tide of battle for the Allies, -
- and we lived happily to our ever after.
- What a beautiful story, Grandpa. - He is not your grandfather.
Women want to be fought for. They want to feel requested.
If she felt that I, she would explode.
You feel a lot but do nothing. What makes him, Scotty?
- A weak piss. - Right. You are a weak piss.
- What's the matter with you? - Where did the stone come from?
- Who are you? - A weak piss broke our window.
- What's going on? - I'm looking after her.
- Why? - Yes, why?
I just wanted to hear if you wanted to do something with me.
- Such as what? - Anything.
- What time is it? - One minute past midnight.
- It's late. - Yes, that's it.
Thank you. But is it too many?
- What should we do now? - I do not know.
I improvised. I did not think you would go with.
- So you do not all the time? - It else to believe.
Should you be docker whose charity runs out?
They are not ready for such a man.
I was here a lot as a kid with my grandfather.
So we chose a boat, named it and said that we would sail over.
My grandfather was good at it and chose names like "The beautiful Helen".
We sailed to places like Zanzibar.
- What about you? - I was captain of the SS He-Man.
We had set sail for Grayskull.
I was a novice when it came to chart a course.
- I must stand close to each other. - He has raised me.
- Is it true? - Yes.
You own one of the boats here. How would you like to sail to?
- I must say Costa Rica. - Costa Rica? Why is that?
There, I have always wanted to go.
An exciting nightlife, culture everywhere and tropical fruits.
So your dream place has lots of exotic fruits, never sleeps -
- And the people speak primarily Spanish.
Okay. It can do that. I can cope with it immediately.
Follow me.
Very clever.
Life is too short.
- Carries you grudge against the captain? - What can you use a grudge against?
- Tell. - I make fun.
No, you do not. There is a story behind.
Will not you tell me?
Fair enough. Help me find a birthday card.
"My beloved daughter. May you live long. Happy birthday."
"If you do not have Christmas in the heart, you will find it under a tree."
- It is not for fun. - Who's birthday?
- I have. - Do you have birthday? Right now?
- Happy birthday. - No money? Your nærigrøv.
Is not it a little depressing to buy a card for themselves?
It is not intended to be from me, but from my father.
When I was little, he died a few days before my birthday.
- I'm sorry. What happened? - He committed suicide.
But on my birthday I got a card from him.
He had sent it before he died, and wrote -
- That he was sorry and that he loved me.
Sometimes love screwy.
So every year I choose a card that I think he would buy -
- And so I write his name on it. I think it must be so.
- No teats or boner? - It was not a kiss.
It was emotional, but not about sex.
I'm confused. What does it mean? How tasted her tongue?
- What are you doing with your girlfriend? - I close the air out of her.
- Want to make her finish? - Yes.
Stop! Fortunately, I have two.
If you do not bang her, things go wrong.
It is best to just forget her.
One of my short stories fit perfectly. Will you help me find it?
None have gone in there on purpose, so I will not be first.
What the hell? Lyle, if you move your house, tell it all.
- Stop calling it a house. - Want help finding something?
It has a steering wheel and can rotate. It can run and has a license plate.
I skip over.
Sexual tension disturbs men's thinking.
When Peck takes over, closes both hemispheres down.
Women want romance, men will have the trigger.
One good orgasm will answer all his questions.
Do men really that sex is the solution to everything?
Yes, and it is also a well-known shortcut.
If you can swipe a girl and forget her, she is indifferent.
- Forget her and move on. - He can not just forget her.
He has created a perception of her as the forbidden fruit.
If he does not get solved it, she will follow him forever.
I have a story about a serf.
The serfs were in love in estimates maiden ...
... but told her never, so she was married to someone else.
The serfs swore to forget her and never fall in love again.
He was a cold bastard. He was unsatisfied and empty.
There may exist more. He was monk and sought the divine.
He ran to the end of the world in search for spiritual fulfillment.
After many years where he finally had cleaned his mind, -
- he opened his mouth, and the first word that occurred to him, -
- was her name.
Super, grandfather. Tell me about the time you were drunk and would give me the finger.
Here it is. A Russian astronaut was in love with the Tsar's mistress.
I'm about to tell a story.
He could not get the one he loved, so he went on a space mission -
- and ended up flying around alone in the room while he was crazy.
- Are you done? - He probably wins out of oxygen and die.
You can not just forget her. You must have answered the question.
It's the same story. Afterwards you will be strangled in space.
It's the same story.
Frogs are dying out in the rain forest, but more interesting ...
I did not dating online was something for me.
- We need to talk. Are you busy? - No.
- Friends ratio is off track. - Was it the kiss?
That's it. I have a stomach ache and can not eat or sleep.
- Was it a good kiss? - It does not matter.
- We can not do it. - I'm also upset.
- Do we just have sex? - We should not have sex.
- I'm just trying to help. - How can it help me?
We can not be friends, and I will not be a monk or die in space.
- It is not the only options. - I'm open to suggestions.
I do not have any, but sex is not. The kiss was a mistake.
If it's just a rapture, then sex might cure it?
Keep looking up!
- What would it be? - Cold turkey.
No, I do not want cold turkey, but a warm sandwich.
- No, nothing hot. - I want something hot.
- I want soup. - Gazpacho.
- We do not gazpacho on the menu. - So I choose.
- I want ice cream. - Something sweet and slightly sinful.
- We have no more ice. - Of course.
- Can we get whipped cream and jelly? - Fair enough.
What do you have up your sleeve, Copperfield?
Are you on the new spice cure?
- Here you go. - Thank you.
- Now I get excited. - How.
- Is. - Wow.
I have always felt guilty after sex because of all that -
- I have said and done to obtain it.
But when you love the other, you will not feel guilty.
Welcome back, captain.
You know what? Until last night I could not get these down.
- Now place no importance in it. - Of course it means something.
You can also see it.
Yes, but I also said last night that it can not be anything.
- It's something else now. - It's always in the beginning.
Like with my boyfriend and all before him. Over time, the ...
... Boring.
Boring? Do you think it was boring at night?
No, it was great last night. However, it is of no importance.
It was fantastic. What is the problem? The guys are not me.
- Will the next be great? - Is there already a next?
Purely hypothetical. And I have to eat lunch with my girlfriend.
- Do you tell him about us? - Oh no! That I fell in?
It's the truth. Should I tell him?
No, you should not. I must go now.
I thought it was something special. You say it's boring.
I took manifest error. Enjoy your next guys.
- She needs more space. - Shut up. You do not talk.
- He says something. - You told me to swipe her.
I said it would clarify you. But then pushed you too hard.
No. There was a spark.
You take a girl home, and you knock the first time.
When you wake up, she takes her life reviewed. How do you react?
- It must look to get fixed. - Shit, I push on.
Hey, it's me.
- Ceasefire lunch? - Are we at war?
- I'm waving the white flag. - I'm glad you called.
- Are you? - I'm sorry that morning.
- I panicked. - It was me that was too much.
You went a little panic, and then I panicked, and so it was ...
... Panicked.
Yes. But maybe you were right.
I, like you were in the relationship of the wrong reasons, or that something had happened?
Give me one good reason why we two must be together.
It feels as if the universe pushes me in a certain direction.
So, when my friends talk about something sad in their lives -
- I imagine it was me. Now you're in all the performances.
- It's a sign. - No.
- Jo. Trust me. - I do, and it scares me.
- Hello. I knew it was you. - Shit! Not him.
How are you? I have not seen you for any of abemiddagene.
- I have had wildly busy. - I spoke with the coordinator.
She had never heard of you. I said: "He is on the board."
So she gave me his card. She sits on the board.
Lie Blocking. Just like writer's block, but for narrøve.
I'm not quite so involved in charity, as I said.
- What does that mean? - Man can not live by it.
I come when I can, but not as often as I would like.
- Or claims. - What are you doing?
- I'm a writer. - Have you lied all the time?
No, you may not see it. Although it is correct.
Africa? The rainforest? The frogs?
I want to throw your drink in your head.
- I helped the frogs! - Where was I stupid to come.
- I met a frøforsker ... - Fuck the frogs! Fuck the frogs!
You look like shit. The cliché about the drunken writer.
- I am a swindler. - Do not get gloomy.
Romantic comedies should be fun.
It's damn not that hard. See here.
Boy meets girl. It goes in cake.
Boy and girl cubes. They live happily until the day they die.
How the world is put together.
And you drew no hair on the girl. Who is this guy?
What kind of hair you have? Beyonce? Dolly Parton? Bopped?
How is love. Something simple in our brains that are garbled.
You can not draw love, without that it looks like two guys in a 69'er.
Love can not be put down on paper.
It's easier to death by cutting out a piece of paper.
It must be deep?
It's from someone else's script. It is not good, but popular.
There were many ideas about it today. For he wrote it finished.
Romantic comedies are not true. They are our dream of truth.
My dream is that you respect your fucking deadline!
My dream is that we did not talk about it here.
As I see it, you seem distracted, you can not write -
- And do not comply with your deadline because of a girl. So find a new girl!
What do you say? A distraction from the distraction?
- Take to the party. - I have not the heart to.
Fuck your heart. I'm talking about champagne and blowjobs.
We're going to score girls. We give them just once glaze.
I ask the guy about to slip. He puts a book on the table.
I'll call two weeks later. "Hunger Games".
Hello. A tequila.
What am I doing here? Her, I love cubes with another now.
The sheets dripping with sweat. They find on new words orgasm for orgasm.
It would at least I do.
I slip, man.
- Did not any distraction? - No.
I do not know what I felt. It was as if my heart drowned.
Maybe she is not the right. Perhaps lying my body and the universe for me.
I can not make head or tail of it.
Now close up. Talk now just a little with me.
When I was looking for porn, I can tear it to -
- And are looking for girls who looks like my girlfriend, it's a good sign.
So think about whether you do it. I slip. I'm right in the middle of something.
It is no advice. Give me five minutes! You are my friend.
Take up to her and tell her how you feel.
- Did you say you love her? - She does not believe in love.
- Maybe I do not either. - As long as you can feel it.
She loves these sweet little kattekys.
You're blocking my needs right now. Mallory love your boy problems.
Thank you.
She answers either calls or text messages. Why are girls so crazy?
Men makes us crazy.
You're with a crazy person and it makes you crazy -
- And you just want to shake them and get them to see what you see.
- I tried. - What did you do?
I did not do anything.
You must have done something. How strong were your feelings?
- Right strong. - Ham off the plane?
No. He pushed too hard. Another guy.
If you could do it over, would you tell him?
- It might hurt. - Does not this hurt?
- Imagine if he feels the same way. - I love you.
- Shit! - I love you.
I should have said so. I thought you knew.
And so I said no.
- Where's our script, bitch? - Yes. Where is our script?
I'll cut your throat and pierces your brain.
- Hello? - I'll tell you something.
- I am engaged. - What?
I'm totally out of it. Sorry.
I have projected all my fears onto you.
He is the only constant in my life. It is time.
Is this your best explanation? You do not love the guy.
What are you doing? Hold up!
It is a mistake. I promise you that you will regret it.
- I love you. - Are you as crazy ?!
- You just have to find it. - I'll buy you a new one.
Okay, I find your ring. If it was greater, it was easy to find.
- Do you hear often that line? - Here!
- Why do you do everything so complicated? - You called me! Send as a text message!
Do not marry him. Give me one good reason.
- It makes sense. What do you hear? - That you love him.
You will hear that I love you. I can not give you.
I want to put his face in a waffle iron.
- I would jump in front of trains. - No, you will not.
Revel you a little too much in your self-pity?
- I am wounded. - Okay.
But what about her? You put her in a dilemma.
She marries, she does not love. It is her own dilemma.
You went after a girl who has a boyfriend. It was your fault.
If you really love her, you should probably let her go.
- Whose side are you on? - I am in love page.
Oh god. Scott, I want so no rosy platitudes right now.
- I'm just trying to help. - Do you?
What makes you the expert? You have a crush on him from the bookstore -
- For two years without doing a damn thing. I dare to at least try.
Vince is heterosexual. No gay vote "Terminator" is wildly romantic.
And I made "Ghost" -finten on him.
No response. If he was gay, he had thrown themselves at me.
You're lying to yourself. You just put the romance novel to people.
The book is my gift.
Not one person who found it, have actually read it.
Have you never read it? You said then.
Do not make your crying face. If it is so important, I read it.
I was sick of to help with your charity.
- You have not written it. - You are selfish!
The book changed my life. It got me to write.
- To accept myself! - Do not be.
I've seen you choose Mallory and Lyle. You never visit grandfather.
I thought I was the only one you have not fucked.
- All this, because of a book? - What's the book?
"Enduring Love and leprosy". For fun!
- "Love and the Time of Cholera". - "Love Time of Cholera"!
- 90% correct. - You know what, screenwriter?
I'm glad I'm not in the movie about your life.
- What does that mean? - You are the movie's big star.
But it will never be a love film. And why?
It's only about one person.
You have not written the book!
Hey! It's me!
Goddamn it! You throw stones at me ?!
Grab! Sorry.
Do not marry him. I'll explain it logically.
- 1. You do not love him. - Godfather. It makes you just do not.
Sex is better with me, and I am speaking of ...
- Who is it? - Not anyone.
No, I'm the only one. 3. He hates hearts.
He hates museum hearts. He will hate San Francisco hearts.
He hates my heart, for the smoker.
- What is going on here? - Look at him!
- Do your children look like? - Should I call the police?
- Just go in. He is full. - Just ring, bitch.
- I fucking ... - Stand there and talk me to death?
Or come down here and take my balls in your mouth?
3. I love you. There is no other for me.
I have looked after.
What is your problem, your bull? Should you harass me and my fiance?
She does not love you.
is how it looks when you are full.
Give him a kick in the ass!
Yes !!!!
Sadly it actually like this.
She does not love you.
What the hell is wrong with you? I just bought them at Barneys!
He asked if I want to move into. We get married in December.
- You hate me. - I do not hate you.
I nothing you.
Scott ... I owe you an apology -
- But I can not talk right now. It was a tough night.
If there is a universallov beyond relativity, -
- is the following: It can always get worse.
Grandfather's death. I'm sorry.
Death is a reminder that shakes up the us open our eyes.
Our focus is changing. Reminder slightly, being revised.
Love in the Time of Cholera
For bogfinderen. This book changed my life. I will share it with you.
Now I tell the story, so you can put yourself into it.
A guy falls in love with a girl. Love at first sight.
But there is a lifetime, before they can be together.
When they are on a boat, and they realize -
- they can only be together never to walk on land.
The hoist the yellow cholera flag, so no port will have them in.
It gives the insight that there is people in your life that are so important, -
- that they overshadow everything else.
You have to find out, who they are.
If you had to give up everything else and live the rest of your life on a boat, -
- who would be on the boat? Who could you not live without?
Make your own list, and then do everything to show how much they mean.
I hope not, is over for me.
Well, one thing at a time ...
Romantic comedy about split personality. Put in time.
Men in uniforms have therefore also feelings.
It's too late. He got you into the "just friends" zone.
It will not do. She can never love us.
Did you say it because we are crazy?
He is no different than us. All have multiple masks.
Love is also crazy. It changes everything.
It may be as a red rose or a machete.
As they say: "Love is too weird."
Not "too weird". It's called "love is wonderful."
- The second sounds negative. - It is indeed strange.
Yes ... "It is indeed strange."
FADE TO BLACK
What is it happening? I just finished and is quite tender.
We have to celebrate.
- Scott and I are good friends again. - Congratulations, man.
I have something for you. "100 Years of Solitude".
Do not put too much in the title. You die as certainly not alone.
That's the good thing about being a writer. You choose the end.
Mallory had given his friend-date a fair chance.
- Where are cute together. - Hello.
- Congratulations. - Thank you.
Get out. I'm busy.
Yes, yes, you are forgiven.
Samson and Lyle was just ... Samson and Lyle.
- Congratulations. - Thank you for coming.
- Bryan welcomed to his check. - Nice! Not a moment too soon.
They have moved the start date of the action movie for two weeks.
- I have seen the "Terminator" again. - Have you?
Yes, and you have the right.
It is indeed strange enough a romantic movie.
Bowl. Well ...
I would personally hand you a ticket in first class -
- To six-week class Malay pussy.
Sometimes I get a little oppositional.
And then I can be blind to all the other ways it can be seen at.
Ditto.
Not? No, you can not open it. I'll get more money.
Even though my boat was quite full ...
... missing still.
Now I write my own ending.
I had to stop a wedding.
All over unclean gave finally paid off, when I had to run from the cliché.
- Have not those heart sculptures? - Yes, we have hearts.
Fat. Drive me to them all.
- Are you crazy or something? - Something.
Sorry, it is recorded.
- Gabriel told what you want. - We will also see all the hearts.
I can not beat her out of his head.
It sounds as if she does not love him.
Well then ... you are beautiful.
Have been here held a wedding today with a girl who was ... perfect?
- Give me 50 bucks, I see everything. - We continue to run!
Do you want to break a guy's wedding? Cool, man!
When chasing love, rooting around the world on one.
We are gathered here today to celebrate a marriage.
Does anyone have any objections, speak now or forever hold your peace.
- The last is the end of the pier. - She must be there.
Even my imagination got a kick in the balls.
- What kind of a big arrow? - Cupid's bow.
- Why have not we been there? - You said "heart sculptures".
But willow shoots hearts. Move! Come on!
Hello.
- What are you doing here? - I came to stop you.
- So you come a little too late. - Yes, I see.
There are about 100 heart statues.
I wrote a speech on the plane and would make a great scene.
- You must work on your timing. - Married, you work with him?
No. I stood there and looked at him, and it just felt wrong.
- For both of us. - Maybe it was a sign?
The seriousness it here. You should not even be here.
I know you're mad at me. But we met at a difficult time.
You were in the wrong conditions. I could not hold on.
But I have ...
... Strong emotions. I feel something new.
We deserve to find out what it is.
We deserve to be as far apart as possible.
- Why? - Look at us!
You're lying to save frogs and ensure the Third World clean drinking water.
And I am my boyfriends incredible. We deserve no love.
So we fit well together perfectly. We have errors. We are full of shit.
- We two are full of errors. - Is it your best argument?
- That shit major fucking not. - Love is screwy.
It is confusing, scary. It hurts, it's a bummer.
But when I look at you right now ... I will put everything at stake.
Maybe we make each other miserable.
But if we have the slightest chance to get it to succeed -
- I am willing to risk regret you for life.
I hate you.
- I love you too. - I hate you really.
Everyone has their theory of love. They have philosophies, facts, rules.
But love should not be thought. It must feel.
This is how it felt for me.
Live your own story. And just worry, I promise to keep me away.
Translation: Louise Munk Commonly Scandinavian Text Service 2015